I Changed My World but Carried My Thinking
Finding a foothold in unfamiliar fields while discovering how much of the struggle travelled within me.
MY ADULTHOOD
I Changed My World but Carried My Thinking
Civilian life gave me opportunities to enter fields I had never worked in. Even without formal certifications in those domains, I could find a foothold and grow.
There is no doubt in my mind that military training contributed to that capability.
Yet I remained something of a misfit. The conflict I had experienced earlier did not disappear with the uniform. I could progress, sometimes considerably, and then find my conflicted thinking contributing to another fall.
My conduct was not always consistent with the ideals I held. Looking back, I see occasions when I acted well and others when I did not. I increasingly recognise that contradiction as part of being human, while remaining responsible for my own choices.
Through these experiences, I began to see success and failure as judgements shaped by perspective. Events had real consequences, but the meaning I attached to them also influenced how I lived through them.
I began to notice how my thinking could intensify joy or prolong sorrow.
Gradually, a thought took shape: the quality of my life depended greatly on the quality of my thinking.
Easy to say. Difficult to practise.
Understanding that thought was a beginning. Learning to live by it would remain work for the years ahead.
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